friends

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/winter-sulking-next-to-stilts.html

A bull terrier was standing by a bus stop sign as I made my way downtown today. The owner and leash out of sight, it looked like he was waiting to get on the bus. I wanted to pat him on the head as I made my way up to the Bryn Mawr platform. The infrequency of trains on Sunday make me a little sad.

Last night B and I tried to find a new restaurant for our last weekend together before I go home to Michigan. He picked out a German restaurant in an odd side of town Yelp says is called North Center. We walked the wrong way at the intersection where the first bus dropped us off, and took another bus in the correct direction but overshot. This is the only reason why I would like a web enabled phone is for figuring out where I am at all times. There were some odd but cute gays in this area of town. One was standing outside of what appeared to be a home for senior citizens. He didn't have a coat on and he seemed to be waiting with his real dad, not daddy. B said it was it a hotel but it looked more like a waiting for God Hilton.

I might as well tell you that the German restaurant is called Laschet's Inn. When we get to the German Tudor style place the first thing they ask us, after we awkwardly stand in the doorway for a couple of minutes, is if we have reservations. I hate that question. No Yelp two dollar sign restaurant worth eating at takes reservations. Everyone sitting at the bar was waiting for a table, apparently. It didn't look like they had very many real German beers on tap anyway. B gave the hostess his German last name and then we walked out the door, past Bubba the plumber's place where he must have been on call, and over to Joe's the restaurant we saw only because we overshot our first destination. Joe's kind of sucked but their oysters weren't bad. B ordered spaghetti which he didn't care much for but who orders spaghetti at a restaurant? Spaghetti was only meant to be a cheap way to feed families.

We got 20% off our bill because I had the audacity to mention the little sign at our table, "If your server does not mention how you can get a FREE MEAL (by signing up for some card...I had no idea what they get out of that) then get 20% off your meal!" Anyway, we're young and broke and deserve to live better so I asked the waitress, who never really looked at me the whole night, if we get 20% off since she didn't mention the offer. She said, "Oh I guess," and for a moment I felt the remnant of Catholic guilt, until I finished the rest of the Guinness that was in my glass. Guinness really does taste good with oysters.

I should have known the night was going to be our monthly Saturday contentious nights when I gave B a hat for Christmas. I think it looks cute as hell but I could tell he did not like it. It has a ball on the top and goes well with his hipster glasses. We weren't spending a lot on gifts this year anyway. I swear the hat ruined his night. I finally told him to "Cut the ball off of that thing!" and we proceeded to Boystown where we have not been in a while. The last several weeks we were staying in to save money so this was to be our holiday pubcrawl present to ourselves.

We went to my two favorite hangouts: Scarlet and Wang's. The drinks may be overpriced and weak at Scarlet but somebody's always already drunk. The bar is very nice inside and on Saturdays there is this mom sized lesbian DJ who plays the kind of house music I like. The bartenders are usually pretty friendly too, there's one we call Little Boy who is cute as a terrier but looks like he's only 14. There are other bartenders with some cute faces and the kind of soft belly that I eroticize. The crowd at Scarlet seems more laid back and slightly more interesting than Sidetrack and the R Word. There was one straight couple in the bar who was making out, which I have to say made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted to yell, "Find your own bar, breeders!" because to me it seemed to be flaunting the fact that they can make out anywhere without someone throwing a bottle at them. If B and I were to do that in a Wrigleyville bar, or almost any place, we would surely get that kind of flack.

Wang's always has an interesting mix of gays and straights. At first glance the table next to me was filled with straight dude bros. Then I heard their conversation about boyfriends and sugar daddies and it was clear to me that they were gay. B ordered his Hendricks gin martini and I opted for hot sake. The DJ who is the boyfriend of the owner was not there and playing Italo disco yet, unfortunately.

Overall B and I had a good night until his friend who has rubbed me the wrong way wanted to hang out with his. I have not met this friend, but at one point he told B he was "grossed out by short guys." This is the kind of thing that infuriates me. And then we talked about egos and comparing where his friend and I went to school, yet I cannot let go of this kind of insult. I always hate it when people feel the need to be so competitive around me. So he's taller and makes more money than me. I, apparently, went to a better school (the friend acknowledges). I love how men can be when it comes to competition. Especially gay men. I told B I have no interest in hanging out with his friend. He, of course, should not let me limit their time together. I am perfectly content hanging out with my own friends. If he and this short-phobic friend want to talk about the friend's boring meaningless (albeit well paying) career path that is fine by me. I can go sulk next to some stilts.

Speaking of friends, I think B, Philosopher, and his J will be celebrating the Winter Solstice tomorrow by seeing Patricia Barber perform at the Green Mill. That will conclude my winter Chicago celebration before my return to Michigan Wednesday.

Winter birds

[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:21 am]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/winter-birds.html

I see you received my card.

Gay children and the holidays

[Dec. 19th, 2009|07:03 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/gay-children-and-holidays.html

I've been listening to the Kylie: Live In New York album. Work has been very busy lately and I have been working 10-11 hr days. The nature of my job can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion. I have experienced both types of exhaustion. The holidays induce manic and depressive states in everyone.

I just read a friend's Facebook note about his father's unwillingness to respect his being gay. I use "respect," as opposed to "accept," because no one has the right to not accept something that just exists. It made me sick to think that this is almost 2010 and some parents refuse to be decent parents. It's not about homophobia, which is one of the last kind of bigotry still acceptable to have and be open about. It's about a personal failing. Parents have an obligation to respect their gay children. This respect goes beyond past demeaning notions of "acceptance" and "tolerance." You tolerate going to the dentist. You accept a disabled child (and ideally love and respect too).

This is certainly not a disability here, unless we're referring to the parent.

There is one positive thing that continues to come out of the collective failing of many teachers, parents, religious and political figures. Gay children continue to develop a unique sense of self-awareness not shared by their peers. This self-awareness, I think, is often associated with success.

Gay children have to figure it all out while fending for themselves. The most character comes from fending off people you initially respect until you see them for who they really are, like a parent, a teacher, a religious/political figure (they are the same in my book).

So my heart goes out to my friend whose father who failed him this time of year.

Do u dream in carnival

[Dec. 14th, 2009|10:22 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/do-u-dream-in-carnival.html

Dreamt last night of a Volkswagen bus filled with high schoolers. They turned into adults but retained their superficial qualities. A former yoga instructor from Ann Arbor was driving the bus. I was weeping as I asked her how she managed to carry all the weight of society without it destroying her. She smiled and offered me the front passenger seat. The bus become an amusement park water ride, the road in front of us a downward slide. As the bus descends it disappears and I am alone and plummeting face first into a green pool. I am under water when I reach the bottom. I do not drown, rather I discover that I can breathe.

The museum

[Dec. 13th, 2009|08:28 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-spent-time-writing-holiday-cards-to.html

I spent time writing holiday cards to various friends near and far. This was after brunch on my own and a quiet walk down Clark Street. I went to the Swedish American Museum and picked up a small gift for someone. Early in the evening I went back to the very warm museum in time to see the girl with a candlelit wreath come down the stairs. She lead a procession of white clad girls into a larger room and they proceeded to sing songs in Swedish. I stood there for about 20 minutes. There were a number of families in attendance with too many small children. I looked around for boys my age and there were none. I stood there and did a little reflecting, enough to realize that I didn't want to attend the service at the Lutheran church.

Happy st. lucia day

[Dec. 13th, 2009|12:01 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/happy-st-lucia-day.html

TGIF

[Dec. 11th, 2009|08:47 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/tgif.html

Most mornings I come out of the subway station on Chicago Avenue. I walk east and briefly pause at Wabash to admire Trump's tower. It looks like the Emerald City or an ice castle. $4.99 Shiraz tonight, TGIF bag of fajitas, and then B and I will meet up with our new Viking looking friend for a glögg or two at Simon's.

Ice-so-lation

[Dec. 9th, 2009|06:51 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/ice-so-lation.html

I've been fascinated with Scandinavia and Greenland lately and have taken to Google for rubbing out these interests. I would love to go to one of these places. As much as I get tired of winter in Chicago, I love the idea of the darkness and isolation of winter in northern countries. I was looking up ways to get to Greenland and looking at the village of Nuuk on Google maps. The picture of the airport with two twin engine passenger planes looked a little like the airport in Marquette, Michigan. The houses in Greenland are both diversely colorful and uniform. I like the idea of this isolation even more sometimes, perhaps the escapist thinking that comes from living in one place for too long. Don't get me wrong, there needs to be some kind of a bar and nightlife for me to live there. Greenland has a few hotels that have bars and restaurants. I would imagine they're not very exciting and filled with the kind of traveler who would go on an Alaskan cruise. I do like the idea of sipping a whiskey drink by a fire in a hotel location like Greenland. I think about Lapland too. The Northern Lights, how I never really believe that the footage is real. Everything can be digitally superimposed. I want to see them for real. I like the idea of almost an entire day spent in the dark. To get to Greenland you must fly from Scandinavia, which lead to me looking up the Sami people of Lapland and their colorful traditional clothing. Their lives once revolved around herding reindeer. As romantic as this sounds I'm sure these people suffer the same kind of problems that many indigenous people face.

St. Lucia Day is December 13th and I think I will go to the Andersonville festival in the evening. There is also a St. Lucia service at the Swedish Lutheran church I may attend. I would be comfortable attending without betraying my atheism. I'm there for the aesthetic as I re-connect with myself. I am perfectly fine with the sense of connectedness and my perceptions of "human energy." I know that this is just my conceptualization of the world, all a product of my mind. My subjectvie being can contain some mysticism. That doesn't mean any of it is true. A god never existed and certainly not as a person. God was created in our image. I will reflect on this as I am quiet among candles with my slightly different take on the season. My atheism doesn't mean I can't enjoy the light and evergreen this dark time of year.

What ever happened to abercrombie woods and other pine smelling colognes

[Dec. 7th, 2009|01:41 pm]

http://grooveadam.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-ever-happened-to-abercrombie-woods.html

I derive pleasure in the bitterness of the cold by looking at it as a way to reduce the circles under my eyes. This morning I woke up in a good mood and I wasn't tired. I like it when B starts work at the same time as me, as we can get coffee and take the train together. He is my best friend in the sense that we both complain about the lack of cute gay boys riding the train in the morning. Monday mornings aren't very gay friendly apparently. It must be the fact the majority of salons are closed on Monday. The flight attendants take the Blue line not the Red line. This is not to say that gays don't work in all professions, it just doesn't seem like any hot ones have to go to work at 9 or 10 AM in the morning. Of course, there was B and me on that train and he was looking very cute this morning with a bit of scruff. I think I'll get him an electric razor because he looks better when he's not so closely shaven. A Mach 3 makes him look like a kitten. He's been sawing Christmas Trees at his jobs lately and he'll come home smelling like pine. Quite the butch man I'm dating or as least that's how it sounds. We'll have been together 9 months this Wednesday the time it would take to make a baby. It hasn't seemed like that long. I don't even think about the connotations that living with a boyfriend has. He just kind of moved in and it happens to be working out. He's a better roommate than me. He keeps both the kitchen and bathroom clean. I do enjoy living with him.